Gravity is a bitch.

Day two was a 91 mile stretch from Valencia to Victorville, and it was not easy. We got an early start in the hopes of beating the looming afternoon heat. I pulled the line a good deal right off the bat as my legs were feeling fresh. But, as soon as we hit the real hills, I was slapped with a reminder of the repercussions of ordering extra desserts for a year since my last Ironman. Holy cow was I eating from a super-sized buffet of fatboy humility.

The continuous 2,500 feet of climbing showed absolutely no mercy. Once I did reach the other side of the peaks, I owed another 70 miles across the Mojave Desert, with the prevailing winds coming at me from the North. Lucky me. Nevertheless, I persevered, fueled by the beautifully desolate landscape, and an assortment of delicious candies. All was looking good and I was settling into a welcome rhythm.

 Until... I ate shit. Yep, any of you who has played any sport with me know that I have a propensity for crashing in style. I rarely find myself a victim of minor mishaps. Rather, I always turn in spectacular wipeouts. Today was no exception. 

Quite simply, while were all distracted by a small airplane graveyard we passed, I touched wheels with another rider in our paceline and as I swerved right to regain control, I found myself biking through 8-10 inches of sand. The rolling properties of skinny wheels in loose sediment are limited. Thus, I went down hard, leaving a divot that appeared to be the result of meteorite activity. The pros of ending up in that much sand? The actual impact on the ground wasn't bad at all. Cons? Well, apart from looking like I had just been beat up at the beach by Tony Atlas, my newborn bike was none too happy about the grit bath. In fact, for the next 20 miles, I had at my disposal only one gear (had to choose wisely and accordingly spent a lot of time out of the saddle). 

From that point on, the ride was an exercise in keeping a positive attitude and re-telling myself the corniest jokes I know. (I can always use more, so please leave your least funny ones in the comments!) Obviously unimpressed by my attempts at humor, the heat was unrelenting, the sun refused to keep it hands off me, and the wind had different ideas about where I should end up. Nevertheless, thanks in large part to my buddy Joe from Team Six in Austin, I soon found myself rolling in to our illustrious flophouse for the evening and made a beeline straight for the pool. Ahhh, the restorative properties of floating in cold water.

Now, off to dinner, and then more sand removal from bike parts I didn't even know I had. Tomorrow's destination - 29 Palms, CA, another 90 miles from here. Thanks for all the good wishes. They put a smile on my face!

Comments

[twitter.com/toddlf16]

Wow. I guess you are going to do this ride in style. Just remember, what doesn't kill you makes the ride harder.

[@Squash2010]

Nasty!! Done that once this year but at a very slow speed. Only my dignity was affected!!! How far in total are you planning to ride?? Across the us?? Really?

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=39506727]

Impressive attitude - keep having fun! How about some more pics from along the way?

[NancyDenver]

Dumb jokes - How the fight started

10. One year, a man decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year."
...and that's how the fight started.

9. My wife and I are watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
So I said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
...and that's how the fight started.

[Lisa]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

You're welcome.

[DeltaCharlie]

Why did the elephants get thrown out of the public swimming pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks.

Ha Ha!

[Sable]

Oh good joke in reference to "how the fight started" in reply to your coast to coast treck: WOW! Get down with your bad self. Also I'm quite jealous about the scenery you'll be enjoying. Please post progress pictures so we can enjoy the ride as well. Hope you and your crew have a safe ride.

[Michael B]

A 46 year old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first time.
her name is Barb.
With no lessons, nor prior experience, she mounts the horse unassisted,
and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops long at a steady
and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm
grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides
down the horse's side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly
impervious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from
the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has
become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse's
pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away
from unconsciousness when to her great fortune.....

Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say Hello.

[ryan king]

Dude, I totally ate it this weekend too. Except I landed right in the middle of the road on a steep part of the descent down Mt Tam. I have no jokes for you, only shared pain.